The Stonar Way 25 November

From Mr Gower

This week marked the start of the Football World Cup, with each team pushing to the absolute maximum in order to get their hands on that famous golden trophy that depicts two humans holding up the world. It might come as a surprise to some of you that this is the 22nd Football World Cup, spanning the last 92 years from

way back to when Uruguay beat Argentina 4-2 in the very first final. What might surprise more of you is that the, ‘big rugby guy’ (yes, that's what I have been called this week by a visiting opposition team; I let it slide as we claimed a home win at the Fortress following a loss at the beginning of the season!), is going to talk about it in this week’s Stonar Matters.

As a nation, we love a competition - well ones that we could do well in, and football, like it or not, is the number one sport in England where we boast arguably the best domestic league in the world. Furthermore, many of us are still enjoying the success of the Lionesses in the most recent 2022 EURO win over Germany, which seems like only yesterday.

Despite the national pride, we find ourselves opening up different conversations in schools, workplaces and at home about our own values. There has been wide spread reporting on women’s rights in Iran, being supported by their teams' refusal to sing the national anthem in an act of solidarity. Reports have also focused on the treatment of the workers in Qatar in preparation for this World Cup and the damage that this has caused, as well as on LGBTQ+ human rights concerns.

As we know, the captain in football wears an armband. For this World Cup, there was a design change to the standard issue band. The creation of the ‘One Love’ captain armband is designed to promote inclusion and send a message against discrimination of any kind. FIFA, the world governing body for football, banned the use of this armband as it went against regulations.

Furthermore, the governing body has taken provided statements that players will be issued yellow cards should they wear this onto the pitch. As a result of this, many of the different countries are not wearing the armband in fear of their best players being sent off the pitch.

Is it wrong? Is it right? Does it break regulations? Does it stand for something more? The answer to these questions is a personal matter and something that might cause some controversy. However, I can’t help notice certain individuals standing up for what they believe in. Alex Scott, a former Lioness and now presenter, was seen wearing the armband because of what she believes in and what she chooses to stand for. Similarly, Manuel Neuer, the legendary German Captain and goalkeeper, wore the armband slightly hidden underneath his shirt during their opening World Cup match because he too believes it is the right thing to do.

Moving back into the classroom, last week was anti-bullying week, where the focus of this year’s theme was to ‘Reach Out,’ to encourage pupils to reach out and support others. Children took part in activities and assemblies throughout the school, from wearing Odd Socks to creating their own sock designs representing how they feel when they are happy and sad. One of the main activities that I found fascinating was playing out situations where bullying was taking place.

One particular situation had a group of children making fun of the ‘target’ because they had green hair and wore an old hand-me-down rucksack to school. The children embraced the roles and played out the scene. As you would predict, the ‘target’ in this situation very quickly felt outnumbered, alone and a little lost without knowing what to do. I heard insults such as: ‘Why is your hair green?’ ‘Go on, have a wash greenie!’ and ‘Look it’s the Grinch!’.

Just as I was about to stop and add some input, one of the children who was a bystander said, ‘But sir I actually think that green hair is cool.’ At this point the whole ‘bullying’ group stopped and you could see them thinking about what they were doing and realising that they actually didn’t have a problem with the green hair and old rucksack. Very quickly, one by one, the group started to agree and the conversation turned into what colour they would have their own hair (and more interestingly mine – which I will leave up to up your imagination!) Fair to say that it completely re-shaped my lesson plan!

Nevertheless, the whole situation affected me a little bit to be honest. I am very open about my experiences at school and I am happy to discuss my own personal battles with bullying and the impact this can have on a young child. However, I could not help but notice the children reacting in a positive and respectful way to make a change. When the bystander intervened, there was no rubbishing the bullying group or physical presence but simply supporting the ‘target’. Something that I would have really have appreciated when I was younger.

Furthermore, Mr Cunningham met with our Prep School Council this week and had set them a series of tasks to complete the week before for discussion at the meeting. Giving the children a sense of ownership and responsibility for their school is a powerful tool. One of these tasks was about our school charity. There was a suggestion that we stick with the same charity as the Senior School, The Wiltshire Air Ambulance, but the children were adamant that they want to have more of a say and choose their own charity for the Prep School to represent. Through their respect for Mr Cunningham and vice versa, a positive outcome was achieved without quarrels, arguments or fighting but out of respect for each other.

Respect is a powerful tool and something that I, as a rugby coach at Stonar, have tried to embed into the DNA of my team. This, in turn, provides a platform for the team to come and discuss issues that they might have in a respectful manner and without fear and I can relate this back to Mr Cunningham and his School Council. The reason why the School Council's decision making was amicable was because of the mutual respect for each other and the ability to get their points across for something that they strongly believe in.

With the World Cup ongoing and countries vying to be the next team to put their hands on the coveted trophy, we need to remember that there are two human figures holding up the world, not just one. The theme of this year’s anti-bullying week to ‘Reach Out’ is a powerful statement and one that is ever more important in our current climate.

Standing up for what you believe in can be a scary thought and something that I know a lot of us have shied away from at times. However, sometimes standing up for something does not need to be scary if done respectfully and without malice. Children can often feel under confident or nervous about raising problems or making suggestions, but, the reality is that their ideas could be amazing and, like the Prep School Council, provide a brilliant insight into what Stonar School should represent. You never know there might be more people who like green hair than you think!

Dan Gower

Prep School Teacher and Co-curricular Lead